Difficult Conversations vs. Conflict

Difficult conversations are not always conflict situations.

Difficult Conversations vs. Conflict

Conflict is a situation where there is a difference in perspective, values, belief, behaviour or needs that creates a gap. To close this gap, conflict situations almost always require negotiation and / or compromise by one or both organizations / persons.

Difficult conversations also have difference in perspective, values, belief, behaviour or needs but it is not imperative for both parties to agree to close the gap. It is important for both parties to state their perspective – and then each party gets to decide what they want to do with the information – to change or not… to close the gap or not… to find synergy.synergy

Here’s an example.

Bob misses an agreed upon deadline. In this case, there is no conflict – the reality is Bob missed an agreed upon deadline.

It will likely be uncomfortable for Bob’s boss to discuss how Bob can avoid letting the team down in the future. It will likely also be uncomfortable for Bob to be on the receiving end of this conversation. But, we can agree there is no conflict with why they need to have a difficult conversation.

Perhaps Bob’s need was for another project deadline, or his belief was that this project wasn’t important, or that his values meant he spent more time with his family. It doesn’t matter – negotiation isn’t required… Bob missed the previously agreed upon deadline.

Benefit of Managing Difficult Conversations

Managing difficult conversations and conflict almost always has a long-term and significant positive impact. In addition, the negative, (difficult), components are often not nearly as severe as we ‘think’ they will be. It’s natural that the drama we create in our own mind is far worse than what happens – everyone does this.


Most of us are really good at stewing on difficult conversations and conflict situations – but we are worried about upsetting relationships that are close to us – if feels better to smile and pretend to be happy – but might erode the relationship and/or productivity.

The reality is that when we manage difficult conversations and conflict situations we find they are an opportunity for the whole relationship or team or organization to see things differently, learn and to grow.

Happy communicating.

Click here to join our priority list to receive our latest Business Communication blog posts.

If you enjoyed this post we think you’ll like:

Bruce Mayhew Consulting facilitates courses including Business Writing, Email Etiquette, Time Management and Mindfulness.

Bruce Mayhew on Canada AM

Click on the image to watch us on Canada AM.

Give us a call at 416 617 0462. We’ll listen.

Find answers to your Professional Development questions / needs at brucemayhewconsulting.com.

View Bruce Mayhew's profile on LinkedIn

Bruce Mayhew Consulting

I’d enjoy reading your comments on this post.


About Bruce Mayhew
Bruce Mayhew is a Leadership Coach, Keynote Speaker and Corporate Trainer who builds strong client and co-worker relationships that give clients a competitive advantage. Our training and development programs include: ■Generational Differences ■Effective Business Email Writing ■Email Etiquette ■Phone Etiquette ■Behaviour Event Interviewing (BEI) ■Mindfulness ■Using Linkedin to Build Client Relationships ■Objective Setting Made Easy

I’ll enjoy reading your thoughts and your experiences.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: