Earn Your Employees Trust: Change How Your Employees Feel At Work.

You have a TRUST Situation:
  1. You are a leader.
  2. You have a new team member.
  3. The new team member is reluctant to take on responsibility and make decisions.
  4. You need him to make decisions.


There can be many reasons.

Possible Reason #1. They may want to relax and take it easy and therefore not take on the responsibility of making a decision. This means you didn’t hire well. I’m sorry to say, this is your fault… not theirs.

Possible Reason #2. Your new employee may be avoiding decisions because he doesn’t feel empowered… he has been burned by leaders in his past.

SOLUTION to Reason #2: 

Simply telling your new employee they have authority will not have positive impact. They likely feel scared to make decisions because they were yelled at or embarrassed or were made to feel bad about decisions they made in their past. A trauma he had in his past is influencing his behaviour to not make that mistake again… he is avoiding feeling bad by avoiding making decisions.

Your words alone will not change how he feels.

Emotions cannot be changed by reason… existing feelings have to be changed by making him feel new emotions… by having new positive emotional experiences.

You have to SHOW your new employee you trust his opinion when he makes a decision. If he makes a decision but it isn’t how you would do it BUT his decision still works, leave him alone and say nothing. You have to show him you have his back on the decisions he makes (as long as you do trust his expertise and decision-making process). And, you have to reinforce your behaviour in order to reinforce the new behaviour you want.

Changing how anyone feels – changing someone’s emotion will take time; it will take repeated reinforcement and investment on your end. Your new employee has to feel your trust – he has to learn to trust you and he has to learn to trust himself.

Real Experience

This happened to me years ago.

I had a lady who reported into me when I took over managing a department. Her previous boss made her feel stupid (literally). Whenever she gave her opinion or made decisions they were never good enough.

Reality was – she was so smart and experienced.

All any of us ever really want is to feel trust and respect and to learn from our shortcomings – not be beaten up by them.

It took a few months but in my case this employees’ trust in me grew… and her trust in herself grew. She now runs a whole department. What an amazing transformation.

What we do every day of our lives is what matters.

We hope you enjoyed this post.

Bruce Mayhew Consulting facilitates courses including Generational Differences, Leadership Skills, Motivation Skills, Difficult Conversation Training, Business Email Etiquette, Time Management, Mindfulness and more.

Find answers to your Professional Development questions / needs at brucemayhewconsulting.com.

Call us at 416.617.0462.


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About Bruce Mayhew
Bruce Mayhew is a Leadership Coach, Keynote Speaker and Corporate Trainer who builds strong client and co-worker relationships that give clients a competitive advantage. Our training and development programs include: ■Generational Differences ■Effective Business Email Writing ■Email Etiquette ■Phone Etiquette ■Behaviour Event Interviewing (BEI) ■Mindfulness ■Using Linkedin to Build Client Relationships ■Objective Setting Made Easy

2 Responses to Earn Your Employees Trust: Change How Your Employees Feel At Work.

  1. Have you been listening in on Les’ EFT training 😉? Changing one emotion with another one is at the core of what he teaches…

    Love following your blogs, even if I am out of the ‘business’.

    Hope you and Jeffery and Lex are all doing well. Big hugs.

    Sent from my iPad


    • Bruce Mayhew says:

      Shelley – Yes I have. After viewing the short clip you sent me some months ago I have been thinking about what Les does. Recently I watched a keynote he delivered that is on YouTube. EFT is really interesting.
      I also went online and found a ‘Feelings Wheel’ that I’m finding really insightful as it describes first, second and third level emotions / feelings.
      I’m working on a bigger article that references Les and his EFT work – but it isn’t ready. This blog I published yesterday came up because of a coaching question I was asked.
      My sense is that if Les and I ever sit down together he will get sick of me asking him questions.

I’ll enjoy reading your thoughts and your experiences.

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